Well I got php installed in perl, then I tried getting perl in php, but the pecl installer failed. Then I tried python in php - it works!

php shell.php
Python in PHP (2.5.2 (r252:60911, May 28 2008, 08:53:53) [GCC 4.2.4 (Debian 4.2.4-1)])>>> 'lowl'>>> print 'lowl'
lowl>>> 

That is so rad.